By Stephanie Reynolds
Mike is a great leader in so many ways. His senior leaders always rely on him to operationalize huge projects and bring them in well executed, on time, and under budget. He has tremendous drive and clarity about how to efficiently and sometimes miraculously pull things off with limited resources. He also has great vision about new ways to improve the organization overall, articulates the vision well, and inevitably gets the green light on his suggested projects.
The company leadership wants to promote him to the Senior Team, but Mike’s style is holding him back. He can be painfully direct and has trouble tolerating individuals that can’t keep up with him. Recently, he offended a newer employee so much that the employee went to HR to complain. There is now an investigation underway. Mike has been coached by his boss and HR in the past. Even though he knows he should soften his communication, his sense of urgency gets the best of him whenever he’s confronted with a mistake or the potential of a missed deadline.
GATHERING CRITICAL MASS
People change only if they want to, or have to, and what I’ve learned is if they want to and have to, the odds of success increase.
Let’s look at it this way: Mike’s drive and “take no prisoners” attitude has worked for him up until now, and has gotten him to that lower rung of upper leadership in his last three organizations. His bosses have reinforced him by giving him high scores and bonuses in his performance evaluations. His “problem” behaviors have been overlooked in the name of his successes, providing little motivation for change. He wants to be perceived as caring, but his drive for success always dominates at the end of the day, and the organizations where he has worked have unwittingly reinforced that. It’s an old story…
Our old behaviors have been our champions. They formed based on experiences or assumptions from our past, and have protected us. We tend to think of them as character flaws, but in actuality, that’s not what they are at all. Mike came from a tough home environment. His father was former military and believed if you “spare the rod, you spoil the child.” Mistakes were not tolerated, and positive feedback and affection were withheld until the kids performed well. Mike needed to adapt to feel the respect and love all children crave.
SO, HOW CAN MIKE CHANGE?
1. Create Clear Impactful Consequences. First and foremost, Mike must understand that if he does not change, there will be negative consequences that have meaning for him. He needs to know that there will be career consequences if the behaviors don’t shift. As important are the positive consequences of the change. Mike will get more engagement, more discretionary effort from others, and it will be great for his career from a promotability standpoint.
2. Offer Specific Behavioral Examples. Provide clear behavioral examples to help him understand what needs to change. Words like “soften your style” or “be nicer” don’t cut it. They are too subjective. Offer examples like: “When you were talking